Effects of Chronic Parental Conflict

Marriage is a lifelong commitment of two individuals who are joined by a matrimonial ceremony. It is the process by which a couple makes their relationship public, official, and permanent. It's a legalized union of two people who vowed to live life together, forever. A contract that establishes the rights and obligations of both parties involved. But living together without marriage is definitely a different story.

My husband and I are not a perfect couple. We have had countless arguments but as much as possible, we refrain from doing it in front of our kids. Disagreements and misunderstandings are natural occurrences in any healthy relationship. However, frequent quarrels and fights can resort to saying hurtful comments and behaviors.

I guess, my husband and I fall under the common or normal parents with diversified opinions and ideas but with a respectful form of communication in dealing with conflicts and resolving issues.

I remember we had a neighbor couple who's living together with two toddler kids. This family seemed to have been suffering from Chronic Parental Conflict. They always fight about the same issues over and over leading to screaming, shouting, and hurting physically. Because of these constant squabbles, everyone in the neighborhood was being distracted. Unpleasant words were thrown and absorbed by the kids' young subconscious minds. Their confrontations are so disturbing.. so alarming that I even tried to address the matter to our barangay officials but unfortunately, they seem to have no power of intervention to such kind of domestic issue. The couple eventually got separated and the mother took the children's custody.

EFFECTS OF CHRONIC PARENTAL CONFLICT ON CHILDREN

1. Children Feel Insecure:  Because of the never-ending fights between parents, children are traumatized and frightened. They don't feel safe being at home experiencing such a difficult situation with threatened violence.
2. Children's Mental Health Is At Risk:  There is a great possibility that the children may suffer an emotional breakdown. Unresolved conflicts bring fear, anxiety, and depression to children that can severely damage their mental health.
3. Children May Lose Trust And Respect:  If the parents communicate without respect, the children are most likely to adopt a hostile environment where there is no trust, love, and understanding. They may perceive a relationship as something that is not worthy of sacrifice and kindness.
4. Children May Be Confused:  When parents fight, children are the shock absorbers. They are caught in the middle of two people who supposed to be their role models but actually, displaying unethical behaviors. Who is right? To whom they should take side? Do they have to choose who's the lesser wicked?
5. Gap Between Parents And Children:  A home should be a place of comfort and peace. If there is always domestic chaos, family members are disorganized, misled, and dysfunctional. The gap between family members may get wider when unresolved conflicts get worse. 
6. Children Having Weak Foundation:  Being exposed to long-lasting parental arguments creates an unhealthy atmosphere inside the house. Children are more susceptible to making mistakes thus contributing to a weak foundation of character. They tend to be self-centered, judgmental, and narrow-minded.

Every family has a fair share of unresolved issues and domestic problems. What's important is, there's open communication among the members, the reassurance of love for one another, respect for one's opinions, the courage to accept mistakes, the ability to listen to understand, and the willingness to take part in finding the solution.